OPINION
Forget going on a safari along the newly built Pakwach to Masindi road or cruising along Palisa road to Kumi town. The true adventure is right here! We have turned our streets into a gigantic playground and this allows everyone to have a little taste of off-roading even without leaving the city. Every pothole puts the driver on the edge, evoking feelings of pause, excitement, and even action as the driver swerves, stops or simply moves around the town.
Word on the streets is that soon a tour “Pothole Safari” may be availed in Kampala, the first of its kind where you can see our streets as they should be seen – rugged. Forget safari rovers or four-wheel drive jeeps, you would need a tank to appreciate these wonders. Throw in some potholes and you won’t have any trouble with the alignment.
Even though everyone seems to be eager to fix these potholes, let’s be truthful: would we fill in the Grand Canyon? Potholes of Kampala are part of the geography of the city, they are the very edges of nature that we live in. To cover them would be like covering the Kitezzi landfill, it will not just be an act of mutilation, but a powerful act of culture.
Some of our largest and oldest potholes, like the ones around the Industrial area – Bugolobi, have even achieved legendary status, gaining names and fan clubs. Residents near these iconic landmarks take pride in the uniqueness of their local crater, often giving it a fond nickname and using it as a neighborhood navigation point. “Just turn right at Big Auntie,” they will say, directing newcomers toward the iconic pothole as a reliable landmark.
Have you ever heard of Hot stone massage? Take a boda boda ride during rush hour on the Mpererwe-Kitagobwa-Matugga road and every muscle in your body will feel like it has been re-energized. Exercise is out of the picture. Joining a gym or a yoga class is not necessary. The roads of Kampala are an exercise of their own. This particular workout challenges one to have time and probably repair the suspension of their vehicle.
Some residents have been able to practice mindfulness almost naturally these days due to natural speed bumps. Instead of rushing our way through life which is not what we ought to do, potholes in Kampala have made us appreciate every bump and every pit and every obstacle because it does not matter whether we get there or not.
Imagine a world where potholes are no longer here to damage tires, crack axles, or shake up our exhaust systems. It would be catastrophic—for the economy, that is! Potholes are Kampala’s great economic equalizer, providing business to local mechanics, tire shops, and boda repair stands on every corner. Their contribution to our GDP is undeniable, creating jobs and boosting spending in the vehicle maintenance sector.
So the next time when you feel a bump on the tarmac, the car makes a noise of a “thud”, don’t worry, for whatever loss impacts directly Uganda’s economy. Your loss helps keep a garage working, puts food to families, and keeps boda businesses all over the city afloat. Potholes: the real economic backbone of Kampala.
Kampala is known for its unrecognized champions in an untamed discipline known as Pothole Dodging. It is done by all drivers, boda riders, and pedestrians alike, who avoid the holes that come in different depths, widths, and shapes. These are not just simple craters; they are hurdles that need the skill of a gymnast, the metamorphic speed of a rabbit, and the endurance of a Joshua Cheptegei.
There is a story making rounds that Kampala is trying to pitch for the next Olympics and is considering pothole dodging into a national outdoor activity. What a sight that would be: athletes and amateurs from all over the world disregarding all traffic and road rules in the pursuit of being the first, with creativity and style points for how high the suspension launches the car off a pothole.
It’s high time we recognized these potholes!
The Author is Okalebo Aaron
